You've got to admire their determination...

[Hanuman]

...even if their genetic profile makes them fit only as shark bait.
What is the Nigerian for feck off?

A sample of my latest junk email. Almost as good as the multiple wins on euromillions that I was informed about as soon as I turned my phone on in Beijing on Monday.

-------------
ROBERT MUELLER III
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON D.C
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET
rmueller000@aol.com


ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY,


We believe this notification meet you in a very good present state of mind and health.The Federal bureau of
investigation (FBI) Washington,D.C in conjunction with some other relevant Investigations Agencies here in
the United states of America have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring
network that you presently have a transaction going on with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as regard to
your over-due contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favor accordingly. It might interest you to
know that we have taken out time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol
of operation and have finally confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all
facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay. Having said all
this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the Central Bank office accordingly as we will
be monitoring all their services with you as well as your correspondence at all level.


In addition, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Executive Governor of the Central
Bank of Nigeria, in the person of Mr Sanusi Lamido and Mr. Paul Jones along with some of the top
officials of the ministry regarding your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in
abase depending on when you personally come for the claim. They also told us that the only problem they
are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam
innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive Governor and the Central Bank
office. We were also made to understand that a lady with name Mrs. Joan C.Bailey from OHIO has already
contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim
purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your contract fund valued at
about US$2,000,000.00 (two million united states dollars),but the Central Bank office did the wise thing
by insisting on hearingfrom you personally before they go ahead on wiring your fund to the Bank informations
which was forwarded to them by the above named Lady so that the main reason why they contacted us so
as to assist them in making the investigations.

We was further informed that we should warn our dear citizens who must have been informed of the
contract payment which was awarded to them from the Central Bank of Nigeria, to be very careful prior to
this irregularities so that they don't fall victim to this ugly circumstance.And should in case you are already
dealing with anybody or office claiming to be from the Central Bank of Nigeria,you are further advised to
STOP further contact with them in your best interest and then contact immediately the real office of the
Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) only with the below informations accordingly:

NAME: MR SANUSI LAMIDO
OFFICE ADDRESS: Central Bank of Nigeria,
Central Business District,
Cadastral Zone, Abuja, Federal
Capital Territory, Nigeria.
Email: sanusilamido73@sify.com

NOTE: In your best interest, any message that doesn't come from the above email address and phone
number should not be replied to and should be disregarded accordingly for security reasons. Meanwhile,
we will advise that you contact the Governor of the Central Bank immediately with the above email address
and request that they attend to your payment file as directed, so as to enable you receive your contract
fund accordingly. To this effect, you are required to reconfirm and authenticate your given particulars below
for certainty and onward processing and release of you funds as we may not be held liable for any
wrong payment.

YOUR FULL NAME:
COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:
YOUR PHONE NUMBER:
SEX:
AGE:

Ensure you follow all their procedure as may be required by them as that will further help hasten up the
whole procedures as regard to the transfer of yourfund to you as designated. Also have in mind that the
Central Bank of Nigeria equally have their own protocol of operation as stipulated on their banking
terms, so delay could be very dangerous.Once again, we will advise that you contact them with the above
email address and make sure you forward to them all the necessary information which they may require from
you prior to the release of your fund to you accordingly. All modalities has already been worked out
even before you were contacted and note that we will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you
proceed so you don't have anything to worry about.

All we require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on track with you and the Central
Bank of Nigeria. Without wasting much time,will want you to contact them immediately with the above email
address so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any further delay as time is
already running out. Should in case you need any more informations in regard to this notification, feel free
to get back to us on this email so that we can brief you more as we are here to guide you during and after
this project has been completely perfected and you have received your contract fund as stated.
Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly await your urgent
response to this matter.

Best Regards,
Robert S. Mueller III
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C
rmueller000@aol.com
---------------

[type81]

great!! where do i sign?

[Hanuman]

Well, so it would seem...

-----------------------------------------------------

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY
ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIMES COMMISSION
14A AWOLOWO LANE, IKOYI
LAGOS NIGERIA.
Motto: No Body is Above the LAW

FROM THE DESK OF: Mrs. Farida Waziri
Attention: Beneficiarry
RE: BE CAREFUL OF THE HOODLUMS

Based on our findings in this investigation department we wish to warn you against some Miscreants, Hoodlums and Touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. We were informed that some Hoodlums are contacting you in respect to the collection of your fund which was long approved in your favour with the Central Bank of Nigeria. As a matter of fact we have been on this investigation assignments for some time codedly known to no one but the Presidency and some top government official who are in support of this investigation team to help stop fraudulent activities in this country and as well restore the image that has been tarnished by the below listed group of people.

Although we have been able to come up with some good result about -the people that have extorted money from you illegally and I wish to list them so that you will personally indicate them by writing back to us with the name of whom scammed you among them as we want to make sure your payment is routed to you without any further delay and note that we will surely deal and bring to book the names of people below if only you will co-operate with us by co-indicating correctly any of them.

The names of the scammers that have been arrested are as follows:
1) Prof. Charles Soludo
2) Dr. Shamsudeem Usman
3) Dr. R. Rasheed
4) Barrister Awele Ugorji
6) Barrister Ucheuzo Williams
7) Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Obi
8) Barrister Augustine W. ADAMS
9) Mr. Tunde Lemo
10) Mrs. W. D. A. Mshelia
11) Mrs. Okonjo Iweala
12) Mrs. Rita Ekwesili
13) Chief Joseph Sanusi
14) Hughs Oborone
15) Barrister Louis Robert
16) Mrs Peace Daniel
17) FedEx Courrier Company / Diplomatic Delivery
18) Mr. Ray McClawrence
19) Rev Martins JohnsonMOST WANTED CRIMINAL AND NOTORIOUS SCAMMER
BARRISTER TUNDE MARTINS
The above listed names are been traced/investigated by the Economic and Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) and some of them have eloped the country and note that if any of them is caught and found guilty he/she we go to jailed for 25 years (twenty five years) as it is under the Degree 47 of the constitution of this bank under the section of criminal law, so we are waiting for you to write us back and inform us if any of the above names have Extorted Money from you or once contacted you so that we can start taking the necessary procedural steps prior to bringing them to book and having your fund wired into your Bank account as nominated accordingly. Should the name of the Hoodlum that scammed you is not listed above, we will advise that you forward to us his/her name and contact details so that we can trace them and as well bring them to book.

Note that the only office/paying bank that has the right to pay or contact you prior to the Transfer of your fund, is the MERCANTILE TRUST BANK PLC. Which is currently been headed by the Bank Governor. You are further advised to deal directly with them and do what so ever you are asked to do because that is the only way you will achieve the success in the wire of your funds to you as designated.

We appologise on behalf of the President and the people of Nigeria for any delay and lost this must have coursed you in any way and promise that such thing will not occure again in the future and in case you are currently dealing with any one of them regarding your fund, we urge you to stop further contact with them as you are taking a very big risk and it might interest you to know that you will never get your fund from them as they have nothing to offer. The hoodlums will continue coming up with expenses and thereby requesting for money from you until you go Bankrupt.

Hence, your funds is currently deposited with the above named Bank and in safe hands.Finally, we are expecting to hear from you today unfailingly so as to enable us serve you better and wire your funds into your Bank account as nominated.Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation and understanding

while we wait for your urgent response.you receive this message for more information or send your reply to this
email us : fghv@live.co.uk

Best regards,
Mrs. Farida Waziri
CHAIRMAN: ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION(E.F.C.C).

-------------------------------------

The little gits

[Emjay]

19) Rev Martins Johnson MOST WANTED CRIMINAL AND NOTORIOUS SCAMMER

Shit.......I am in big trouble with the FBI now....

I love the way the FBI at the J Edgar Building are using "@AOL.com" as their email carrier of choice.They've clearly had enough using "@fbi.gov", must be Nigerian spammers and scammers bringing their network down.

Do people really fall for this??

[Hanuman]

Originally Posted by Emjay

[b][size=3]
Do people really fall for this??

Sheeet. Are you telling me this ain't kosher, too?

[Hanuman]

From: Notice to Appear <notice_support.8@dlapiper.com>
To: notorious.pirate@yahoo.com
Sent: every bloody day since Friday, 14 February 2014, 19:51
Subject: Urgent court notice N#90076

Notice to Appear,

Hereby you are notified that you have been
scheduled to appear for your hearing that
will take place in the court
of New York in (choose a month, every month) at 11:00 am.

Please bring all documents and witnesses relating to this casewith you to Court on your hearing date.
The copy of the court notice is attached to this letter.

Note: If you do not attend the hearing the
judge may hear the case in your absence.

Yours truly,
Ruth Smith
Clerk to the Court.

(Damn. what did I done now?)

Hello, Ruth.
Might I enquire- is this case regarding the sexual encounters with your daughters? If so, I assure you that while a little messy, all activities were consensual, and in many cases, instigated by at least 2 of the girls at once.

best regards
Ramon

[Stu]

pmsl I love it when people "scam" the scammers, read a lot of them over the years, and making them jump through hoops on another tangent of wealth. I thought this would have died out by now!

[hmg]

What actually happens if you reply??anyone ever done it out of curiosity?

[theschmallfella]

It must have taken them six months to write those emails! I've read shorter books

[geneandbolly]

their english is much improved over the gibberish they first spouted twenty years ago trying this caper!!