Geriatrics and their dogs…

[Isimmo]

Took the dog for a walk after work, and this is how it goes…

We reach the first field and as we enter, there are two old biddies chatting, I let our dog off and this upholstered tube, with a face like a pig after a head on crash with a brick lorry, breaks cover from the long grass and comes snarling and snapping after Skye, who lopes off at a Collie trot and leaves the old biddy to scoop up Fuckballs, (or was it fluffles? My hearing’s not quite what it was). She says, oh, sorry, Fuckballs doesn’t like Collies… So we progress and in field two, we meet what can only be described as a Cumberland sausage that’d sprouted legs… It’s a shock to both Skye and I, so imagine our delight, when we get to within 20ft of it, and it simultaneously discharges both bladder and bowl. Class Act. The old biddy owner looks at the pool of defecation and says, ‘She always does that’…. Nice…
So by field 5 we were shown the delight of ‘Randy’, a black labby, about 1 year old with an old fella, 90, if he was a day… He enters the gate, squeaky toy, and ‘Randy’ at the ready… Unclips ‘Randy’ and whooooshhh… ‘Randy’s’ left the field, exit stage right, into the Woods, some 250yds away. Somewhat mournfully, Albert goes, squeeeeakk, squeeeakk and in a voice that could only have been hewn from castration, shouts… ‘Wwwaaannnddddyyyy’… Squeaky toy, ‘Wwwaaannnddddyyyy’…

‘Wandy’, had probably made the parish boundary by this time…

So, we walk back though the fields and behold, Fuckballs is still there, some 40 minutes later, and again, we run the gauntlet of the ‘upholstered pig’ attack… And again, Fuckballs gets snuffled up and the words… ‘oh, sorry, Fuckballs doesn’t like Collies…’

‘Bet it doesn’t like duck tape either’ says I…. And walks off leaving two very confused old biddies….

[SteveCat]

[stuartmmcfc]

you really dont like old people do you Ian

[amanda]

Originally Posted by stuartmmcfc

you really dont like old people do you Ian

Hmmmmm and in a few years he will be one himself Grumpy old men springs to mind

[stuartmmcfc]

Originally Posted by Isimmo

"I don't believe it" says I.... and walks off leaving two very confused old biddies….

what he really said

[Booty]

Pure class Ian...pure class. I love intergalactic dogs, with a pensioner on one end attached to a quickly dissapearing large Alsatian on a retractable lead....pisser, right up to the part when it reaches the 'stop'.

[PeterB]

It's worth coming on here just for Simmo's posts. Absolutely legendary!