[Booty]

A man owned a small farm in Aberdeenshire.

The Department of Employment & Pensions claimed
he was not paying proper
wages to his staff and sent a
representative out to interview him.

'I need a list of your employees
and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.

'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand
who's been with me for
3 years. I pay him £200 a week
plus free room and board.

The cook/housekeeper has been
here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per
week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit. He works about
18 hours every day and does
about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about £10 per week, pays his
own room and board, and I buy him a bottle
of whisky every Saturday night. He
also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'

'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.
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'That would be me,' replied the farmer.